“To evoke magic is not only to provide an alternative regime of causal relations, but also to minimize the attention to the methods and resources required to carry out a particular effect.” 

When the people in swag say Big Data.

When they have bright ideas,

And they say they’ll fix the thing,

When they mean it. Be afraid.

They’ll MECE and map it, 
They’ll juggle then drown in it.
If Big Data meant anything smart,
They would have called it Smart Data.
Instead it's just...big?

When you think of shiny magic bricks,

Smooth algorithmic magic tricks,

Remember that it is instead,

Hundreds, thousands of bureaucrats.

A Nasdaq-run Ministry of Interior for 3 billion people.
Bureaucrats attempting bad haikus in sql. 

They share micro-agressions in micro-kitchens,

(Online too, and mostly about the food)

Food is a big deal, food is culture.

There is so much culture.

Like that Middle Eastern Lunch on the first day of Ramadan 🙂

Remind me to tell you the story sometime.


Solving the world’s problems (and proving Hannah Arendt right at every turn).

And there are no adults in the room.

Really, no adults in the room.

They want to colonize the moon.

We need to save the moon.

So there’s no magic and no adults,

Only tired and confused bureaucrats,

With deadlines and performance reviews.

They just want the next promotion.

What is there but the next promotion.

The system rewards Ruthless Prioritization.
I was told I was good at it, so let me explain:
The trick is to manage your emotional bandwidth, 
and pick your trauma wisely.

It helps if you smile a lot in emails.

Sometimes there will be no data.

The trick is knowing when to let it burn,

And conjure up data points out of the ashes of a PR fire.

Now don't you wish you picked your trauma wisely?

Don’t forget to look nonthreatening (straighten your curls).

(but also ruthless). 


The trick is to pretend it’s AI.

Just call everything a process. Even everyone.

And pray they don’t spit in your face,
But also hope they do, because you deserve it. 
Add a sticker to your email. 

Aren’t we all processes?

I’m a cog in a glorified call center with a yoga studio,

I get assigned a Personal Development coach.

Aren’t we all princesses? 

It helps if you blink at randomized intervals.

Finding joy in the purpose is what breeds dissent.

And there is always tomorrow. So much tomorrow.

You calibrate and find joy in processes at scale.

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